October is a wonderful time to initiate some proactive changes before the holidays are upon us. One of the hardest challenges we face is to give ourselves permission to go after what we truly want. We often make excuses and listen to our Gremlins and settle for “good enough” instead of going for GREAT! Where are you settling for “good enough” and telling yourself that GREAT isn’t possible, or too difficult to achieve?

Advocate for Yourself Sometimes, our fears or lack of perspective and information may prevent us from seeing solutions right away. I had to seek out many resources and strategies to make proactive changes in my professional and personal life. I was scared, uncomfortable and at times, had very little money. However, I kept my eyes on my goals, and got a lot of help to keep going, even when I had doubts and wanted to quit. I am so glad I did make those changes, and gave myself permission to have what I really wanted! I encourage you to get behind yourself enough to do the same.

It’s Worth Some Discomfort to Go for GREAT! Part of this challenge is that it’s difficult to let go of our comfortable “good enough” and traverse a time of discomfort and take risks until we get to GREAT! In the book, "Who Moved My Cheese?", Spencer Johnson spins an allegorical tale of mice forced to leave their comfort zones when their "Cheese" moves. Their Cheese, symbolizing what they thought would make them happy and successful, is usually found in the same place. One day, it disappears, and the story tells us about their reactions and coping strategies when this Cheese can no longer easily be found. It is a great book to help examine your modes of dealing with change in your work and personal life.

Don’t Wait for Forces Outside Yourself I would like to take this concept one step further. Some of us wait until someone else moves our Cheese to make a change. Layoffs, romantic breakups, our cars breaking down, and computers crashing often force us to make the changes we have been wanting to make, but have been avoiding. The above situations force us to tap into the resources we have, move out of our comfort zones, and rise to the occasion. However this is not the most favorable position, and the stress and anxiety that arise from "having no choice" can be avoided.

Make A Choice to Go for GREAT! It is infinitely more powerful to choose to make the change. One can create short term, and long term plans, and carefully research options. Without time pressure, one feels less stressed, and there is more time to devote to gathering information and then processing it when making big decisions. As a coach, I talk to dozens of people each month who want to make a change, but don't want to leave their comfort zone to create something different. I always ask them to look at the costs of being stuck, or what they are losing by not taking action. I also ask them what actions steps they would take if they HAD to make the change.

Moving forward: Take a moment and write down the answers to these questions:

1. Where are you settling for “good enough” instead of going for GREAT!? For the purpose of this exercise, pick one thing. Pick the one part of your life that most drains your energy right now. You can go back and do this exercise with other parts of your life when you finish the first one.

2. What potential obstacles do you see in your way? Write about emotional as well as more practical obstacles.

3. Pick one obstacle from above. If you HAD to make this change, how would you overcome this obstacle? How would you let go of “good enough” and go for GREAT? Think of all the resources you could use to overcome it.

4. What is the cost to you for staying in “good enough” and not going for GREAT? Again, look at the practical and emotional costs to staying where you are.

5. Go back and find solutions to all the obstacles you listed, as if you had to make this change. See if you can find solutions for all the problems/obstacles you wrote down. Make sure to ask a friend, family member, or colleague for their ideas and support too.


If you want inspiration to begin to make some changes, read the success stories in the Good News Section of this newsletter below!

These people decided to take action in their lives, and leave their comfort zone enough to make some powerful changes. Some used coaching and/or therapy to assist them with their challenges. Each one had to face their fears, try on new behaviors, and trust their strengths. As you can see below, their efforts were rewarded. I also love to hear from former clients or others about their good news too! I only mention ages because many of my clients feel they are sometimes "too old" to have things happen for them.

INDIVIDUAL COACHING: Explore what coaching can do for you! For people new to coaching, I always offer a complimentary session designed to help clarify and move forward to the career, relationships, and lifestyle you truly desire! Coaching can help you gain clarity about your goals, provide accountantability and structure, and help you move through your obstacles and fear toward success. Coaching will help make the changes you want so you live a life that reflects your values and priorities! Click on the link under my picture to access my website, with a coaching video from a television spot I did for WCVB Boston Channel 5 Chronicle Magazine and detailed New York Times and Boston Globe articles profiling my work, and testimonials from satisfied clients.

HE'S JUST SO INTO YOU CLASS! : For women only! **Brookline Adult and Community Education Center. After this fun and interactive workshop, you will feel great about your most attractive qualities and more energized in your relationships! This workshop takes place Monday, October 30th 7-9:30 PM at Brookline Adult Education. Call 617 730-2700, or visit http://www.brooklineadulted.org, or email the office: bacep@brookline.mec.edu to register.

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