FOR SINGLES

A dynamic woman in her fifties let go of her old habit pattern of pursuing exciting but unavailable men. Shortly after she shifted this habit, she met a very emotionally available man who also helps her relax and enjoy the simpler things in life. She realized that good emotional and sexual intimacy, companionship and caring was ultimately more fulfilling than intense passion and drama. She and her new man are now enjoying a very satisfying relationship.

Recommended Reading: “Straight Talk" by Jane Green (a novel) and my eBook: "Great News for Dating and Mating: Winning Strategies that Work!" Available for instant download at: www.suzanneblake.com

A bright widow in her early sixties wanted more fulfillment in all her relationships. She learned to set limits with her large family, make time for herself, and schedule more social activities. She started feeling better about her life and herself, and she took some risks to go places alone. She met a wonderful man while out on one of her solo journeys, and now she feels like a teenager again in her new relationship!

Recommended Reading: "Stand Up for Your Life" by Cheryl Richardson

A man in his forties decided to listen to his friends and give woman other than “his type” a chance. He realized that “his type” of woman was critical, very much like his family. He went on a blind date with a woman who was not his type but who seemed very nice. Although he was not physically attracted to her on the first date, he looked beneath the surface and grew more attracted to her each time they went out. He realized that they had a common vision for the type of life he wanted to lead and recognized what a wonderful partner she would be. He proposed to her on their second year anniversary!

Recommended Reading: "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendrix

Moving Forward: Ask yourself the questions below to help you make an empowered shift that will bring you more love and fulfillment. Remember, small changes in our behavior in romantic relationships can produce big results!

1. Are you blaming others instead of taking responsibility for your own success? What new information, attitudes or behaviors could you adopt to change your current status?

2. What words of wisdom from authors, family, friends, counselors, etc. have you been ignoring? How could being more open minded increase your success? Are you making room in your life for a relationship and for someone to partner you?

3. Are you willing to give up control and be flexible about “your type” and other aspects of a relationship so you can widen your search criteria?

4. Are you noticing your non-productive relationship patterns and learning from past mistakes? If not, take a moment to review former relationships and look at what worked and what didn’t work. Write down a list for each relationship and make a conscious effort not to replicate these old patterns. Get support from outside sources if necessary.

5. Are you relying too much on validation from others? How can you learn to appreciate and validate yourself so that you will radiate high self-esteem and confidence? In order to boost these very attractive qualities, I recommend reading "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" by Nathaniel Brandon.

FOR COUPLES

After three and one half years of dating, a couple in their thirties were stuck in terms of committing to a long-term relationship. Both were from divorced families and had tremendous fears about whether they could have a successful marriage. After they explored their fears through counseling and coaching, they got engaged and have set a date for their wedding!

Recommended Reading: "He’s Scared, She’s Scared" by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol

A couple in their fifties were experiencing a challenging decision-making time in their marriage. Both parties were also under stress in many aspects of their personal and professional lives. They made a pact to agree to disagree and went on a romantic weekend away. They left their disagreements behind and used many of the romantic and connecting exercises in "True Love" by Daphne Rose Kingma. They returned from their weekend in a much better frame of mind to tackle their stressful situation.

Recommended Reading: "Couples Companion: Meditations & Exercises for Getting the Love You Want: A Workbook for Couples" by Harville Hendrix, PhD

After 15 years of marriage, a woman in her late forties still did not understand many of her husband’s actions. The more she tried to ask him to explain, the less he communicated. She began reading and talking to friends and other men in an effort to understand his non-verbal communication. She also started thanking and praising him whenever he did things to help out around the house or was considerate and loving. He became more responsive and cooperative, and she developed more patience and understanding. Together they have achieved a more harmonious relationship.

Recommended Reading: "Why Does He Do That? The Key to Understanding Why Men Do What They Do in Relationships" by Gil Bryan, or "The Surrendered Wife" by Laura Doyle

Moving Forward: Ask yourself the questions below to help you make an empowered shift that will bring you more love and fulfillment. Remember, small changes in our behavior in romantic relationships can produce profound results!

1. Are you blaming your partner for the problems in your relationship? If so, how can you take responsibility for your contribution and make changes that can improve your situation?

2. Are you leading with your heart or your ego in your relationship? How can you extend more compassion to yourself and your partner to create a more loving partnership? To be inspired, watch the movie “Enchanted April”, a beautiful example about how opening up to loving our partners can be the best present we give them.

3. Take a moment to "take the temperature” of your romantic relationship. What type of infusion could it use? Does it need fun, romance, forgiveness, connection, intimacy or some honest, caring discussion? Make a plan to bring whatever quality or actions are missing to get your relationship back on track to love and harmony.

4. Are you truly listening to what your partner wants? Some partners prefer loving acts of service, while others prefer physical affection, affirming words, gifts or quality time. What does your partner prefer? Think about this when purchasing your Valentine’s day or other gifts. For more information, I recommend reading "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" by Gary Chapman

I hope this newsletter inspires you to make some great changes that will bring more satisfaction and love to you this Valentine’s Day and throughout the year! Scroll down to read the “GOOD NEWS” section to find out how others have achieved success by making changes in their career and relationship lives!