I hope everyone will experience much love and apprecation this Valentine's Day! I want to thank all my newsletter readers for their wonderful comments and feedback!

Share Your Love
Valentine's Day is our annual reminder to open our hearts and show our appreciation for others. It would be ideal if we were reminded of the power of love everyday; it is the single most important ingredient besides communication in creating successful relationships. No matter what the situation, a simple act of love or kindness can dramatically steer your relationship in a more positive direction. Think of how a loving gesture or act of kindness from others has touched your heart recently.

Respond vs. React
I know this is easier said than done! We live in a fast-paced world with many stresses. It's easy to rush through our day, or react to our partner or loved ones without thinking. Our egos are very easily engaged, it's challenging to step back and respond versus react.

The Context of Love
If your partner or colleague is being grouchy or terse, it's easy to react to them by returning similar lower level communication. You have the power to change the dynamic and respond on a higher communication plan. If you come from the context of love, you might realize that they are having a hard day, or are feeling pressured. You might respond by asking them if anything is wrong, being affectionate, or using your sense of humor to help diffuse the tension.

One Simple Gesture
This context of love is particularly important when you are engaged in disagreements. There is nothing like an overture of love to melt through a battle's walls. One simple gesture such as an affectionate touch, a cup of coffee or tea or the phrase "Let's agree to disagree" can bring your relationship back to harmony. The challenge is to disengage your self-oriented ego from the fight and move into a inclusive team oriented approach. Of course, you may need to talk more at a later date when you are both in "team" mode.

Why Not?
Think of a relationship that would change with ease if you extended a loving gesture. This relationship can be the relationship with yourself as well! What loving gesture towards yourself would make the biggest impact?

We often hold back our loving gestures because we are keeping score, or afraid to be vulnerable and get hurt. Ask yourself these three questions about the relationship:

1. Why am I hesitant to extend a loving gesture?

2. What is the cost to the relationship if I withhold a loving gesture?

3. How would the relationship change for the better if I offered a loving gesture?

You can make this a game! Try extending loving gestures in several relationships this week. Note the reactions of how the relationships change. Where did you get the most noticeable reaction? How did it change the relationship's dynamic?

Scroll down to the GOOD NEWS section of the newsletter to be inspired by others who used the context of love to have more relationship success!

Recommended Reading:
Love: What Life Is All About by Leo F. Buscaglia
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

These people decided to take action in their lives, and leave their comfort zone enough to make some powerful changes. Some used coaching and/or therapy to assist them with their challenges. Each one had to face their fears, try on new behaviors, and trust their strengths. As you can see below, their efforts were rewarded. I also love to hear from former clients or others about their good news too! I only mention ages because many of my clients feel they are sometimes "too old" to have things happen for them.

INDIVIDUAL COACHING: Explore what coaching can do for you! For people new to coaching, I always offer a complimentary session designed to help clarify and move forward to the career, relationships, and lifestyle you truly desire! Coaching can help you gain clarity about your goals, provide accountantability and structure, and help you move through your obstacles and fear toward success. Coaching will help make the changes you want so you live a life that reflects your values and priorities! Click on the link under my picture to access my website, with a coaching video from a television spot I did for WCVB Boston Channel 5 Chronicle Magazine and detailed New York Times and Boston Globe articles profiling my work, and testimonials from satisfied clients.

LET'S FALL IN LOVE TAPE: To order this entertaining and informative cassette-tape, please send a check for $18.00 to Suzanne Blake 7 Noon Hill Street, Medfield, MA 02052. Please include your current mailing address. Tapes will be mailed 3-4 business days after receipt of payment.

WOMEN'S RELATIONSHIPS/CAREER GROUP: Would you like to increase your relationship and career success and expand your existing knowledge and skills? This goal-oriented coaching group is designed to help women move forward to their relationship and career goals with support and action steps. Participants receive coaching in the group, and in between sessions. A new group will begin THURSDAYS in March, 2006. Please contact Susan Shamus at (617)332-3844 or email Susan at sshamus10@aol.com.

TAKE THE TEST-RELATIONSHIP COMPATIBILITY **Brookline Adult and Community Education Center. Are you in the right relationship for you? How can you tell who would be the right person to be your lifelong partner? For singles, or people in a relationship, we will help you determine the best partner so you feel comfortable with your dating and mating choices. This course will be offered Tuesday, March 28th 7-9:30 PM at Brookline Adult Education. Call 617 730-2700, or visit http://www.brooklineadulted.org, or email the office: bacep@brookline.mec.edu to register.

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